Now Showing, "Typical Day"

Scene: Mother has arrived home from her last minute shopping for Easter baskets. She is sitting in a chair reading bulletins on MySpace when Father walks in and asks why she seems so sad.

Mother: looks up with tears in her eyes I feel like a failure as a mother.
Father: Why?
Mother: Easter is tomorrow and while I was not the only person out, I should have planned better...Mother continues on telling Father the details of going to Target, Kroger, and Walgreens. She has tears streaming down her face. Father gets up and leaves the room.

A noise comes from the garage. It sounds like a child crying.

Mother: getting up and setting computer on ottoman Oh NO! She runs to the garage.
Father: What happened?

Scene: Garage. One child is laying on the floor, crying, his arm at an odd angle from his body. Other child stands about three feet from the laying child with hands on his mouth and a look of fear on his face.

Blond child: I didn't mean to!
Brunette child: continues to cry
Mother:What's wrong? What happened?
Blond child: I am sorry! I didn't mean to! Mother ignores Blond child and tries to figure out what is wrong with Brunette child.
Mother: Where are you hurt? She touches child softly, worried that something is broken.
Brunette child: My butt!
Mother: chokes back a giggle Your butt. Aww. How did that happen?
Brunette: I was on my skateboard and Blond pushed me and I fell and hit my butt. continues to cry
Mother: starts to laugh and speaks in a sing-song voice Oh. Your butt! Poor baby? Did you crack it? Is it ok?
Brunette: cries louder NOOOOO!
Mother: Does anything else hurt? Can you stand up? She reaches for him to help him get up. Come on...it's ok. Do you want me to rub it? Or should I kiss your butt?
Brunette: Stands up, continues to cry No.
Mother: wipes Brunette's eyes and gives him hugs You know Tony Hawk probably fell one hundred thousand times before he got famous.
Suddenly, Blond child kicks off shoes and storms into the house
Mother: Come on. Let's get you something to drink. What do you want?
Brunette: smiles and wipes his eyes. Orange drink. I have some in my cup. Mother goes with Brunette into the kitchen. He gets a drink and all is right again.

Scene: Living room. Mother has returned to computer. Brunette grabs remote, turns on Spongebob and lays on couch. Although they can't be seen, the audience can hear Father talking to Blond.

Blond: ...and when I smashed my fingers in the door, no one came running to see if I was ok!
Father: You were in the bathroom and barely crying. And it's not like you fell or anything.
Blond:Well, I was crying.
Father: Drama Queen
Blond: squeals in anger
Father: Drama.Queen.
Blond: squeals louder
Mother: without looking up from computer Blond, you squeal again, and you will be crying.
Silence falls over the stage.

Curtain closes.



Sara said...

Oh dear!

Eventful day to say the least?

Fiona said...

It must be hard to have such a funny mother. They suffer, I can tell.

Amy said...

Mother needs wine. Shall I pour?

Bridgett said...

This could have happened in our house...I kid not.

Wanna share a bottle of Pinot?


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