Be careful for what you ask for

We have this awesome screen door that we got for free dollars and zero cents when my parents moved from their other house. It didn't have screen in it but my husband being a closet hoarder had some left over from a previous project.

This screen door is so that we can have the interior garage door open, and if the big garage door is open as well assuming that he doesn't have his crap spread all over worse than the toy section at Goodwill, then we get a nice cross wind with the dining room windows. Which, by the way, was the reason for putting this door in, and the fact my parents were giving one away was just a bonus. We come into the house through the garage so it opens and closes more than Tiger Woods' fly. And has had just as much wear and tear as...well, you know what I mean.

After muchbegging nagging asking nicely, he finally took the door down yesterday to re-screen it.

I mean, the 17 pound cat could jump through the hole, folks.

Wouldn't you know, the trim he took off broke, and the ONLY supply he didn't have to make the repair was, you guessed it, the trim.

Makes me wonder why we have so much screening, though.

I was running out to do some errands, so he sent me to Lowe's with a piece of the trim and a WHITE nail. With explicit instructions to BUY ONLY WHITE NAILS. NO LONGER. NO SHORTER. NOT WITH A WIDE HEAD. NOT WITH A PIN HEAD. NOT WITH A BOX. NOT WITH A FOX. BUY ONLY WHITE NAILS. oh, and two sections of quarter round.

I asked a few questions about the quarter round. Mostly about the length and was he sure that was enough. As a matter of fact, I probably said quarter round about fourteen times before I left.

Care to venture a guess on what I bought at Lowe's?
a. Two sections of quarter round.
b. White Nails.
c. Both a and b.
d. Neither a or b.

What was Big Daddy's response upon my return from Lowe's?
a. "Thank you, Darling. You saved me a trip out."
b. "You are such a caring, wonderful, and dare I say, 'Hot wife.' How did I get so lucky to have you?"
c. "You bought quarter round? Why did you buy that?"
d. "It's about time you got back. What's for supper?"

If you guessed c on both, you get an A.

And if you are better wife/partner than I am, you would have noticed that I wasn't supposed to buy quarter round. I was supposed to buy trim. That is why he sent me with a sample piece. When I questioned him on his use of the wording, "...two pieces of quarter round...," he said that he didn't mean quarter round and that was why he sent the sample piece.

After we left Lowe's to make the (much cheaper!) exchange I said, "I still don't understand."

He replies,"If I had sent you out with a Rt. 44 cup and asked you to get me a medium coke, you would have thought, 'Hmm. He gave me a Rt.44 cup. I bet he wants a bigger size. He didn't mean medium.'"

I looked at him like he was crazy and replied, "Nope. You would have gotten a medium. You get what you ask for."

Hopefully this will help him understand my whole, "Say what you mean, mean what you say."

'Cause my psychic abilities are expired.

(Don't tell the kids I said that. I totally know what they are doing.)