Life in the fast lane

Darrin came in from playing and announced he would like a Wendy's for dinner.

"What would you get from there?" I am expecting him to say, "A Kid's meal," or "Chicken Nuggets."

"A salad."

There's a shocker.

So, I think about my options for a moment:

• It's already after 6.
• I haven't slid the mac-n-cheese in the oven yet.
• They really hate when I serve mac-n-cheese, a vegetable, and fruit for dinner on nights Big Daddy is at work.
• Yesterday, it was affirmed I would not be getting my Mother of the Year award after all.
• A frappe sounds good and McD's is next door to Wendy's.

Nicholas wants a salad, but he doesn't know what comes on them. This is starting to turn into drama. I tell him that McD's has (I think) a BLT salad. Drama is avoided for the moment.

Until we pull up at McD's. Why is it the one time I need a moment to look at menu there is NO ONE IN LINE? Any other day and they'd be at least five people deep.

In a panic, I ask what all is on the Bacon Ranch Salad. He responds, sounding quite exasperated, "lettuce, four tomatoes, bacon bits, and cheddar jack cheese."

I am glad he was specific naming the lettuce, because you know, I wouldn't have guessed.

Nicholas gives me a thumbs up, and I order it. The speaker asks if I want crispy or grilled. I ALMOST said, "Crispy or grilled, what?" because those aren't options that correspond with the ingredients we were given. However, I assumed he meant chicken (even though that wasn't given as an option) and ordered crispy.

Three points I need to make here:

1. I didn't get smart-mouthed because as Monty said in the movie Waiting, "You don't make the people that handle your food mad."

(Totally paraphrasing. He may have been a might bit more colorful in his advice.)

2. When I googled McD's because I couldn't remember the name of the
salad, I saw that there are two versions. One is without the afore-
mentioned chicken. Dude totally duped me.

3. The Shrek glasses at McD's have been recalled due to cadmium.
Shocking, I know.

After, I made the selection for the crispy chicken, Speaker says, "That's $.."

I'm all, "Great, but I am not done."

"Oh. Well, pardon me." Sarcastically, he says.

I ordered three drinks and my frappe and then say, rather nicely I might add, "OK. Now I am done." The whole time I can hear him sighing in the background.

"Again, I apologize. $12 something or another, pull around to the first window." He acts like I am putting him out.

We zip over the Wendy's and get Darrin's salad. She does the same thing--gives me the total directly after I make the order. I mean, there was no, "Would you like a Diet Coke to go with that?" or "How about a frosty this evening?" NOTHING. Just, "$6.54, please pull around."

I guess I am too passive in my ordering. I know they are typing the orders in, so I pause after each item, or sometimes, just take a breath. When I said, "What in the world? Why did she assume I was done? Nicholas said, "You paused."

Fine.

Watch out fast-food restaurants. The next time I come in to order it will sound like this:

:::takes big breath:: Ineedtwodoublesplainwithcheeseonlyregfrylargedietcokenomakethataspriteakidsmeal
withcheeseburgerplainbutaddketchupandsweetteaanotherkidsmealwithchickennuggets
anddrpepper.....