Be careful what you wish for

A comment was made last night in Geometry class about the girl that sits next to me. Apparently she is turning 21 this weekend. I didn't think much about it all the time, but for some reason my 21st birthday popped in my head on the way to school.

Clearly I do my best thinking whilst driving. (See entry below)

It is close to my birthday and I turned 21 :::cough13cough::: year(s) ago. Or will have in a couple of weeks.

November 9th to be precise. Please make all checks out to Heather. All major credit cards accepted here. Thanks.

Anyway, way back in 1905, on that particular birthday I was married not to Big Daddy, but to whom I'll refer to as The Practice Husband (TP).

TP knew that I was looking forward to this particular milestone. I already had a child, gotten married, and acquired a step-son also known as Satan. I had done things unconventionally to this point, why couldn't I have a "normal" leap into adulthood? (I totally see how twisted my thinking was at that young age, but follow me...)

TP had promised to take me to a particular hotspot in Nashville at that time. He emphasized how he was going to have to save up the money to go as if we were paupers and I wanted to go to White Castle. He made a point every few days on how he had gotten paid with this job*, or that job, and now we have X dollars....I arranged for a sitter, Satan was staying at his mom's, and of COURSE had bought a new outfit and got my hair did.

[*He was an independent contractor. If independent means "lazy, lying, cheating drunk." Please note my use of the tense was.]

Day of birthday- I am sitting in the chair waiting for him to get home and showered. The baby sitter would be there soon. He walks in, tosses a Wal-Mart bag into my lap. Inside the bag was a camera and an unsigned (and most likely unread by him) birthday card. He then says to me, "Sorry. We can't go out tonight. I spent the money on your gift and I needed parts for a job. I hate wrapping presents and you know the card is from me; it says "To my Wife."

After I cooked his dinner, he asked me to run up to the liquor store, "Since you are legal now."

I went. That one time. Ironically, we separated a mere six weeks later.

The point I am trying to make was about THE birthday. The girl last night said, "I'm not sure what the big deal is, but I am totally excited." She drives it home, at least for me.

That birthday was ruined for me. Not because it was my 21st, but because he didn't go out of his way to make it special. It wouldn't have mattered if it were my 20th, 23rd, or even my 30th.

My current husband or as I like to refer to him as, 'first husband,' knows this story and has done something exceptional for each of the previous eleven birthdays. If I had a "crappy day" it was of my own doing. We all know, it's not about the money. This time of year is our, how shall I say, economically unstimulated. It's not the gifts that make my day. (They do add spice, I'll be the first to admit.)


So, Kasey, I hope it's a good one girl. Surround yourself with family and good friends. And if what I heard was true, perhaps a designated driver. Turning 21 is a pretty neat deal, but knowing you're loved-- that's the real gift.