It isn't easy

If you walked into the room unannounced, you wouldn't be able to pick him out among the twenty-four kids seated, concentrating on the task at hand.

He is a typical ten-year old boy-- buzzed hair cut, professional sport team pull-over, jeans, and tennis shoes. His smile can light up a room. He is gentle with the two students with special needs. He loves to draw cars and make people laugh. He is more than willing to be a helper.

Then, suddenly without any sort of time to prepare, he explodes. He's not even the one you'd guess would do something like that.

Because someone sat at his desk. Someone has something he wants. Because he wants to stand next to Joe in line. Because his pencil broke. Because it is raining. Because pizza was served for lunch yesterday and he missed it.

Just. Because.

You'll look at him and think that he is an unruly child-incapable of making the right choices. You'll think that all he needs is some strict discipline and he'll fall right in line like the rest. You might even think that if you ignore him he'll stop-it's an attention getter.

He isn't mad because someone sat at his desk. He doesn't really want that thing someone has. He doesn't want to stand by Joe in line. He doesn't care about his pencil. The weather is insignificant. He never eats pizza.

It makes me so sad to see him angry. Because when he is mad, you can see it is something a little bit different. How in the world could a ten-year old have that much rage? I think we know that answer to that question, but I hate it. There is no reason to have that kind of emotional scarring at that age.

I wish I could save them all.


SarahHub said...

This breaks my heart.

Bridgett said...



Amy said...

I wish we could love the hurt out of him, you know? :-/
I didn't have that rage as a kid (although I should have) - I went the other way. It's a good thing there is such a plethora of meds available nowadays or I would still be jacked up. (Well, moreso than I am now...)

Rachel said...

Oh, that made me a little teary. You are a good person to notice such things, and to care about the child so much.

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