The early bird...

will be asked to come back at 7am.


I have many pet peeves when it comes to putting on a yard sale, and this is probably my number one. My husband goes to great lengths to make these fantastic signs, with not too much information, but enough to lead you to our house.

We have always been successful. For years we have talked about putting together a package, sell it late at night on TV right after J.ohn Rich, C@sh *4*Gold, and the Magic Bullet commercials.

Just so there is no confusion, I love the Magic Bullet commercial and always watch it. I also own one and made dinner in almost 10 minutes the other night.

Anyway, if you are a yard/tag/garage sale person, you know what I mean about the signs. You are out early one morning, the sun is just coming up, but is still blinding, and you'll see this index card sign with the address:

Sale today only!
122 firhds st
turn right, look for the oak tree
there is a boy with a jump rope
he is wearing a red shirt
then turn left and immediately right
at the stop sign roll through, and before you
hit the curve, turn right

With the great signs that all but lead them by the hand, you get the dealers. The ones that watch the papers, craigslist, and generally drive around early in the morning stalking the poor menfolk trying to post a few signs up before the city comes behind and takes them.

Hand to heart, we opened the garage door this morning at 6:15 to get things out.


Big Daddy had been back all of 5 minutes of putting the signs (more detailed than the one shown here) at the entrances to the subdivision.

He gets out of his car, I say, "I am sorry. We are no where ready. Could you come around closer to 7?"

"Yeah, but how much is that cooker?" Big Daddy has it in his hand and is walking down the drive.

"We aren't ready yet. Sorry."

It's like being at the store with a child, he asks for a toy, you say no, and he asks again hoping the answer will change since you last took a breath.

These leads me to pet peeve #2. "Will you take ______ for this?"

Item is marked, $4.00. "Will you take a quarter for this?"

Um. No.

This practice drives me insane. It is a bone of contention with Big Daddy and I. He likes to mark items high, and give them a chance to ask us to take less. I like to mark items according to what I would pay. I don't pay retail for much, and I know the going rates at most consignment shops, Goodwill, ect. When I am shopping a yard sale, if there is something I want, if I like the price I'll buy it. If it is too high, I let it go. I can't and won't haggle.

I had went inside to avoid a neighbor and perhaps check out facebook (What? I had crops coming in today.) When I felt like enough time had passed, I opened the door to no less than twelve people milling about. Come to find out, I missed a bit o' drama.

Lady walks up and has a white shelf. It has $2 on it. She asks, "Will you take $1?"

"No, sorry. $2."

"Will you take $1?"

"No. $2"

"Will you take 1.50?"

"N.O. $2."

"Will you take $1?"

"N O. I WILL TAKE $2."

She finally, but reluctantly paid two dollars. The even FUNNIER ending to that...as she is sulking away, a lady walks up and has a glass frame and some other small piece of crap, and asks, "Will you take a dollar for these."


I love my husband.

The $2 lady I guess had drove him nuts with other things before the shelf, so I guess she had it coming. I wish I had witnessed it.

Little does she know, she got BLOGGED.

And will become a scene in the book.

Stay tuned for part two....


Bridgett said...

Oh, how I relate!!!! LOL

I swear, I get SO AGGRAVATED with yard sale shoppers.

Here's an example...I had $5 marked for an $80 picture from Pier One. Perfectly reasonable, I thought.

Apparently not.

I had people asking if I'd take much, much less.

I mean, COME ON! Isn't a $75 dollar discount enough for these fecking people? How cheap can they BE?

My mom is a huge yard saler...but thankfully, she doesn't try to negotiate. Thank Goddess! I think I'd have to kill her if she did.

Or designer hand bags marked for $10. HELLO. I paid $150 for that bag and used it for a couple seasons. $10 is reasonable. And if it's not, too bad. I want to make at least $10 on that bag.

"So skedaddle you cheap skate!" (I have no idea if that's one word or two, btw.)

It just really frustrates me.

But I'm cracking up the little scenario with your hubby is going to be added to your book. :D

Sara said...

I hate yard salers who act like that. The only time I have ever haggled with people is at the end when I just want the stuff GONE!

Good for your husband! And good for you for telling the internet on people. I do it all the time!!

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