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5/23/10

Thought I was the Queen. It looks like I was the Joke(r)

I think Sara was sheer genius for saying that there should be Xanax machines at the entrance to WalMart on my last post.

I know where I'd be spending my quarters.

Today, I was thinking that perhaps one of the problems with Americans (being general here people. Don't start sending the hate mail and throwing tomatoes) is that we are spoiled. We want what we want when we want it. Yesterday is better.

Case in point:

Before we went grocery shopping yesterday, Big Daddy and I sat down and made a supper menu for the week. Or should I say the next five days because starting next Friday, I will be spending the next four days with Big Daddy at his store. In the Weenie Wagon. If ever there was a time for Xanax....
Anyway, we hadn't come up with anything Sunday and another day so he says "we'll come up with something" whilst browsing the store.

Which, I'd like to say is annoying anyway because 1) he is so picky, that I feel like I only make like six meals on a revolving basis, and 2) Hello?!? It's Saturday. Browsing is not an option.

(Don't try to figure us out. You'll only need to be medicated later.)

Long story short, nothing sounded good. I am not sure what his problem was. I'm all, "Why can't we just eat a salad and some fruit and call it a day?"

Those of you that know what my husband looks like probably would have guessed his reaction to that. Anything that is consumed without a meat, potato, and bread product is called an appetizer.

Today, I had to run to Target so he asked me to come up with something for dinner. Never mind the fact that he came from his store. Where they supposedly sell groceries.

Nothing sounds good to me other than salad and fruit, so I finally take the easy way out and grab some ground turkey to make a meatloaf.

I get home and he says, "Well. Okay. But that doesn't really sound good."

Someone dial the number for Oxygen. If they hurry they can film actual footage for next season's "Snapped."

After looking at the paltry selections that we studied yesterday, His Majesty decides that chicken salad in a pita, cantaloupe, strawberries, and chips sound good. Now, I could have come up with this menu YESTERDAY had he not specifically said, "I don't know what I want to have on Sunday, but I just know that I want to get back to the "traditional" Sunday dinners you were making before you were working.

So, I leave AGAIN and run to Kroger. There were about nine million people in there. And of course they were all getting the same things I was. Probably due to the fact it was about 95 degrees today.


Now that I am "unemployed", I have decided that for the rest of the summer, things will go like this:

1. Big Daddy won't be accompanying me to the store. I will be going during the weekday. This means that I'll have to take the boys, but that's fine. I can tell them "no" and even punish them if they get out of line.

2. I will be resuming my role of Queen and will serve what I want on the night I want. Special requests will have to be submitted in writing at least a month in advance.

3. Big Daddy will not starve if he doesn't like what I serve. He was cooking long before I came along, and as a matter of fact, he is actually a better cook than I am.

4. Maybe I should rethink this role of Queen....

5. I am going to find out how that woman Jenn mentioned got $150 for $1.

6. Moving to Germany with Sara may be worth considering.

1 comment:

Sara @ Life With the Two said...

I cannot take FULL credit for the Xanax gum ball machine idea. Many years ago, in my return desk days, we figured there needed to be random salt licks all over the store, but instead of salt, it should be Xanax. Then, we realized that's not very sanitary, so a gum ball machine made more sense!

Also, we purchased a guest bed yesterday, so head on over!!

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