Lowered Expectations

I think I need a shopping intervention when it comes to getting groceries.

I've known for quite sometime that I had issues in this department. I should probably turn myself in to do some psychological study. Someone could get wealthy from studying me, and I am hoping that I am not alone when it comes to my shopping habits.

I mean, I could probably give a whole new meaning to passive-aggressive behavior.

Today was especially bad being that it was Saturday and in interest of saving as much money as I could, we chose to go to the gates of hell Wal Mart.

And just let me tell you, that if we were in a better financial position, I would never set foot in that establishment. Hopefully after my neighbor shows me what she has been doing with her couponing next week, I shall never have to darken that doorway again.

The passive side of me comes in the path that I walk. I tend to be the person on the right side of the aisle, as if I were driving a car. Apparently, I am the only one that does that as I tend to have to stop a lot to allow others to pass me that are coming head-on. This is where the aggressive side comes in, as I getting rather (rhymes with hissy) for having to do this.

Big Daddy doesn't mind coming with me, and for this, I am eternally grateful. I always channel Monica saying to Chandler, "I'll cook whatever you want in there, and do whatever you want in there."

While we go through the Health and Beauty section, I'll leave the buggy at the end of an aisle, he stands guard, and I dart in to grab my selections. Sounds easy enough, but inevitably, some person will be all, "Excuse me" (said in an exasperated voice) and get right in front of me.

Sure, go ahead. Your deodorant/shampoo/soap selection is more important than mine.

See what I mean?

So, we bob and weave up and down the aisles, all the while my heart rate and anxiety is escalating. No matter what methods I try to take, I am in someone's way. How do I get past this?

Another example: two nights ago, Nick and I ran into Krogers to pick up some junk for his "non-end-of-the-year-party," cat food, and dog food. We are walking to the exit, and I notice that four or five people are coming in. We have to make a turn to get out, so we stop. (Passive) This dude that is walking behind me goes around and continues his exit. This ticks me off, so I loudly say, "Well of course you should go ahead. I am clearly not trying to get out of this store. I am standing here as decoration." (Aggressive)

Not that I think I am better than anyone else trying to get those everyday low prices, but it just seems to me that if we all did the same thing, there would be less aggression for all. Instead of people wheeling those buggies around willy-nilly, there would be better flow.

And don't even get me started with the family reunions that seem to happen on the most popular aisles. They always block the way and are oblivious that this is a public place and there are other people trying to get their groceries on.

Now that the kids only have one more day of school, and I am officially unemployed, my shopping shall be done early on a weekday. That will help somewhat, but there will come a time that Big Daddy needs to go somewhere on a rare Saturday or Sunday he is off.

How do you handle the shopping?