Earlier today, I found something my husband had hidden from me -- again. The details of what he hid aren't important. I will say that it wasn't anything that would land us in divorce court. His intentions, however skewed, were honorable.Being the Type-A person that I am, we had a little tiff. We talked it out, fixed the problem to avoid a future issue, and moved on with our day.
Much later, we were looking at crochet patterns for a scarf he wants me to make. After finally finding one that he claimed was not too feminine, I realized the pattern called for a hook that I don't have. I texted my mom to see if she had the right size.
She texted back that she did, but they were leaving for the funeral home. I had not met the man that passed, only his wife. This man, husband to my mom's friend, died suddenly from a heart attack at 56-years-old.
Fifty-six.
My mind can't wrap around that number and what it means. My parents are the same age. My husband is just nine years his junior. Suddenly, a lot of things came into perspective. Things that may have been an issue at noon don't seem as big of an issue anymore.
More often that not, we get caught up with the little things: who didn't take out the trash, who left water on the bathroom vanity, who didn't refill the toilet paper. In the heat of the moment, the little things take over our day. We spend so much time organizing/cleaning/working/fighting that we don't realize how little time we actually have left.
Realistically, we can't spend our days worrying if this moment is the end. However, sitting on this knowledge of this man's passing, I can't help but feel a sense of deep sadness, a deeper regret over some things that I said to my husband this morning out of hurt and frustration. In the grand scheme of things, the little tiff my husband and I had meant nothing. I have no doubt that my mom's friend would give anything to have her husband one more day, even if they didn't talk at all.
The trash will get taken out. The water will get wiped up. Someone will eventually get out a new roll of toilet paper. Going into the new year, I am not going to take the little things for granted. I am not going to waste another minute worrying over the small stuff. I just wish that it didn't take the sudden and untimely death of someone I know to bring me the right perspective.
Photo: Flickr, fauxto_digit
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4 comments:
Perspective!
So so true. My Dad passed away this month. He was only 60. I've been re-evaluating my life and the senseless/silly things that occupy my brain. For me, it's time to gain a better perspective for 2012!
I had a friend of mine (former co-worker) pass away last month at 57 ... it was really tough and put me in the same mindframe you're in, especially since my mom who is only a few months younger than her has already been diagnosed with kidney and heart diseases. It's easy to take things for granted when you lose perspective. A great post & wonderful reminder. We often put more emphasis on the things in our life -- or the work that allows us to obtain them -- than the people or the seemingly insignificant things that truly make us happy or make life worthwhile. Thanks!
Thanks for the great reminder to keep life in perspective. The big things matter. The little ones, not so much.
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