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Showing posts with label divine intervention. Show all posts
Showing posts with label divine intervention. Show all posts

5/16/11

Follow Up: You'll Never Think of Graham Crackers in the Same Way

Frankly, I think everyone should be vegetarians.
I got an interesting response concerning Nicholas' project and the offending graham crackers. I think it's safe to say that I won't be able to give them to my family anymore.

His teacher emailed me back. She was embarrassed, I think. She said when she started doing these inventor projects there was no talk of the real reasons Sylvester Graham invented them. She also mentioned she'd be pulling his name out of the hat.

Nicholas came home with a new inventor to research. The object? Popsicles.

I haven't googled it yet.

5/15/11

You'll Never Think of Graham Crackers in the Same Way

"I am telling you what he said...."
My sixth-grader comes home on Friday asking for help with his science project. He is to do a report on Sylvester Graham, the inventor of the graham cracker. Nicholas has never asked me for help searching for information before.

And boy, am I glad that he did. I hopped online and goggled the name...

It would seem that Mr. Graham was something of a purist and followed a vegetarian lifestyle; he believed that certain foods caused impure thoughts which could lead to excessive self-satisfaction and coupling for reasons other than procreation. 

"Birds do it; bees do it..."
There were some other things, but the first thing I noticed was this article on Snopes.com.

To say that I was shocked could be an understatement.

Being the over protective parent my husband accuses me of being, I looked up the information and fed him the main ideas. Some articles are riddles with specific words while others were general. Given last week's google search for images, I have learned my lesson when it comes to just letting him have an all-access pass to the internet.

After we'd gathered all the facts that he needed to complete the project, I asked him if there were any words that he had seen that he had a question about.
Wouldn't you know it? Sexual.

I don't consider myself a prude, but there are some subjects that I don't want to talk to my children about. These include but are not limited to:

  • the existence to Santa (of course there is!)
  • what we do behind closed doors (storks, cabbage patch, moses basket on porch..take your pick)
  • what we do ALONE behind closed doors (shaving my legs..out in a jiffy!)



After I gave myself a pep talk, I laid it all out on the line. I explained it all to him. Frankly, I should have done a better job of this last year when he had puberty class. 

Now I have to do it all over again with the 11-year-old. Because that puberty class? They only talked about hygiene and body hair. I had to give permission for that? Please. They can learn more on prime time TV.


However, I did not tell him about Santa Claus. I figured it was the least I could do for the boy since he'd just heard his mother utter words like sex, making a baby, and masturbation.

Got milk?


  I did email the teacher and let her know that I thought the ideals of Sylvester Graham may be a bit mature for sixth grade especially since her instructions were "google it." I am curious as to what she'll say.

One last thing is certain, I'll never view graham cracker quite the same.

4/22/11

Chip and Dale: The E-Hollywood(ish) Story

  
Saved from a life on the streets, Chip and Dale now enjoy
a warm nest and plenty of fresh peanuts.
Back in late February, we got a call that no family wants to receive: my grandfather had a cancerous mass in his throat.

At the same time, my niece was in the hospital. We had received another call that they were keeping her at least another day because they didn't know what was wrong with her exactly.

After work that day my mom went to the hospital to visit my niece.  In the parking lot, she turned up a row she doesn't normally travel, but she said she felt compelled to do so.

She found an empty spot, parked, and started up the sidewalk. A man was standing there, looking at this mound of something, with two tiny mouse-like creatures wiggling about blindly.

She asked the man what the mound was.
"A dead mama squirrel. I reckon' those two other things are her babies." He kicked at them.

"What is going to happen to them?"

"Aww. Nature has a way of taking care of things like this. They'll be dead 'fore mornin'. Somethin' will eat 'em."

My mom, a lover of most living creatures* couldn't stand the thought of letting the helpless baby squirrels be left to their own devices. Their eyes weren't even open yet. She found a small box in her truck, gathered them up, and took them home.

At the advice of the man at the Co-Op and Google, she bought the appropriate milk and a syringe and began to feed them. She woke every three hours and made sure they ate, were warm, and made a poo.

Given the prognosis of my grandfather (her father), my mom said she felt like the squirrels were a gift. There was a reason why she felt compelled to drive down that particular row in the hospital parking lot. The squirrels gave her a reason to keep her mind of Grandfather.

Today, the squirrels are two happy, scampering bundles of cuteness. They reside in a very large bird cage with Hilton-like accommodations.

It is uncertain whether she will keep the squirrels in captivity forever. The man at the Co-Op said that once you take in squirrels, you have to keep them - other research has said that the squirrels' natural instinct will tell them what to do.

As for my grandfather, after a biopsy in which the ENT took out much of the mass to open the windpipe and free the vocal cords, the oncologist can not see any cancer. He has not been deemed cancer-free yet; and it is only stage 1. He is undergoing radiation.

My niece is as sassy as ever. She had contracted a nasty bacterial infection in her bladder and kidneys
from a bad bout of diarrhea. She is right as rain now.


Updated: In a bit of irony, while my mother is typically a lover of all creatures with special exception given to spiders, snakes, and anything in the rat family, she told the indoor cat daily that she would kill it if it got the squirrels. That cat was relocated to a no-kill shelter yesterday. (The cat was my grandmother's. She passed last October, and my dad brought her home. My mother was less than enthused.) 


Oh, and the irony that squirrels are in the rodentia family (as are rats) was not lost on me. I just didn't mention that piece of information. 
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In other non-related news, I have another guest post up at the Parentella blog today in honor of Earth Day.
I'd love it if you'd read it, tweet it, comment, post on facebook, whatever you'd like. Let's work together to get rid of plastic!

My post: Teaching Kids about Earth Day



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