I have been married to Big Daddy for eleven years this past March. In total, we have been together for thirteen years.
When we first started dating, no one (myself included) thought it would last. A myriad of reasons were given (again, some by me) and while the faults of our impending failure would be due to some undoing by me, he never waivered. He simply would hold up a hand and be all, "Pfft. Whatever."
From time to time I will ask him if he ever thought we would have made it this far. He always responds with his stock answer, "Once I decide I want something, nothing changes my mind."
Worked out great for me, that's for sure.
We work hard at our relationship, sometimes really hard, but he never has expressed any doubt that here is where he wants to be.
There is no secret formula. But, I think in our situation, he is the glue that holds us together. He is the steady hand when I am erratic and anxious. He is the yin to my yang. (Or which ever way that is supposed to be...I always forget.)
Tonight, he illustrated once again why we work. Plus, he also proved my theory that selective hearing does in fact fall on the Y chromosome.
I mentioned two nights ago, completely off-the-wall and totally off the subject of whatever we were talking about that I wanted to go to the writing group on Thursday night. Purely in a "Oh, and by the way..." manner much like one might mention in passing, "We are out of milk."
And then, I forgot about it.
Not because I didn't want to go but it simply slipped my mind. On top of the fact we really were out of milk, and (Oh the horrors!!) coffee creamer, gas for the lawnmower and grill, Father's Day is Sunday,one child has VBS next week with the neighbor's son, I need to talk to her about that AND couponing, payday wasn't until Wednesday, and BD needs a new shirt for Thursday for a huge meeting with the president of the company, I can't get the unemployment office to return my call that THEY requested, Darrin has to meet with the school psychologist for testing, my sleep cycle is off- AGAIN, the book for review came on Tuesday and needs to be read ASAP....
What was I saying again? I am not sure how I lost track.
Anyway, one of the kids mentions to me that I HAVE to take them to the library on Thursday because we didn't make it on Wednesday. Big Daddy perks up and says, "Oh. The library? For the writer thing?"
I look at him like he has spoken in French and say, "Huh?"
He says, "You said you were going to the writer's group."
Mental head slap. "No--well, yeah," I say. "It's at Location X and starts at 7. I totally forgot about it. But I am not going to go."
"And why not?"
"Because I don't want to be away from you?" Wink-wink. Nudge-Nudge.
"You are going."
Excuse me? "Why do you say that?"
"Because. You want to write. You want to be published. You need to get out there."
I am digging deep for reasons that I shouldn't/can't/won't go. "Well. Yeah. But....It's such a waste of time. No one is going to want to read what I have written."
"You don't know until you try, and I know that you'll succeed."
See what I mean? He is my biggest cheerleader. I say all the time that he only supports my desires because he loves me and may be slightly biased. He claims that he only supports the things he honestly thinks I am good at.
He isn't an encourager by nature--until it comes to me. As much as I hope that he is correct in his assumption that I will succeed, I think we both know that he is more likely to fly to the moon in a hot air balloon than I do at success.
However, I will take his cheers. Who wouldn't?
And I am totally going to the writer's group.