Day 21...Another moment:
A hundred years ago, I was married to someone else.
It was just after Christmas, and we'd been having some problems. I was determined to make the marriage work although many people had made comments after our engagement earlier that year:
"She's got bigger fish to fry now."
"What does she see in him?"
"Why in the world would you marry my brother?"
"Do you have any idea what you have gotten yourself into?"
I have no answers. I was twenty when we met and then married. I was a single mother, in college, and hadn't really had any attention from the men-folk.
Not a reason to get married, mind you, but I thought I loved him.
So back to a few days after Christmas which is my worst memory of that holiday, ever. I was so naive....thank goodness Jessica can't remember it. She was only two.
Anyway, we were fussing about something. I want to say it had to do with dinner. Honestly, I am not sure what the problem was. He said something, I popped off a response and then...
...he raised his hand to hit me.
I will never forget this moment for as long as I live. It was his eyes.
Never in my life had I seen another person look so cold. Heartless. With actual hate.
I stood my ground. I quietly said, "If you hit me, you better make sure you kill me. If you hit me, you will have chosen to end your life as you know it. I will kill you. They will never find your body."
He put his hand down. I packed Jessica's and my things and left.
Even to this day, hand-to-heart, I am 100% sure the things I would have done to him are illegal in all 50 states and at least three countries. There are plenty of people that would have helped and been my alibi including his own sister.
Crappy moment, but it is one that plays in my head often.