You'll Never Think of Graham Crackers in the Same Way

"I am telling you what he said...."

My sixth-grader comes home on Friday asking for help with his science project. He is to do a report on Sylvester Graham, the inventor of the graham cracker. Nicholas has never asked me for help searching for information before.

And boy, am I glad that he did. I hopped online and goggled the name...

It would seem that Mr. Graham was something of a purist and followed a vegetarian lifestyle; he believed that certain foods caused impure thoughts which could lead to excessive self-satisfaction and coupling for reasons other than procreation. 

"Birds do it; bees do it..."

There were some other things, but the first thing I noticed was this article on Snopes.com.

To say that I was shocked could be an understatement.

Being the over protective parent my husband accuses me of being, I looked up the information and fed him the main ideas. Some articles are riddles with specific words while others were general. Given last week's google search for images, I have learned my lesson when it comes to just letting him have an all-access pass to the internet.

After we'd gathered all the facts that he needed to complete the project, I asked him if there were any words that he had seen that he had a question about.
Wouldn't you know it? Sexual.

I don't consider myself a prude, but there are some subjects that I don't want to talk to my children about. These include but are not limited to:

• the existence to Santa (of course there is!)
• what we do behind closed doors (storks, cabbage patch, moses basket on porch..take your pick)
• what we do ALONE behind closed doors (shaving my legs..out in a jiffy!)
  
  
  

After I gave myself a pep talk, I laid it all out on the line. I explained it all to him. Frankly, I should have done a better job of this last year when he had puberty class. 

Now I have to do it all over again with the 11-year-old. Because that puberty class? They only talked about hygiene and body hair. I had to give permission for that? Please. They can learn more on prime time TV.


However, I did not tell him about Santa Claus. I figured it was the least I could do for the boy since he'd just heard his mother utter words like sex, making a baby, and masturbation.

Got milk?

  I did email the teacher and let her know that I thought the ideals of Sylvester Graham may be a bit mature for sixth grade especially since her instructions were "google it." I am curious as to what she'll say.

One last thing is certain, I'll never view graham cracker quite the same.

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Ten Minutes of Your Life

I have a slight confession:
I had been working on this entry day-by-day. My intention was that by Saturday, it would be done, and I would set it to auto-post. However, the powers of procrastination took over. Then to be slammed with a headache on Sunday so terrible, I would have gladly taken ice picks to my eyes to relieve the pain, that meant I couldn't/wouldn't/didn't have this post finished.

I didn't even get online yesterday.

Much.

At any rate, I appreciate your taking the time to read my posts. I have also changed up the comment form so that hopefully it is easier for you. No more word verification, either.

(For now.)

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For my oh-so-revealing answers to the Question of the Day, read on:

1. If you were granted access to only one blog of your choosing, which blog would you choose and why?
-Why did I pick such a hard question?!? This took a great deal of thought. There are reasons that I read every blog that I read. Having said that, in only choosing one, I would choose:

Sophie (aka, BooMama) I just love her upbeat posts. Two things: I doubt seriously she even knows I read her. Or follow her on Twitter. Or she lives about an hour and a half from me. (That sounded slightly stalker-ish. Yikes.)

We had an email conversation once. About corn bread. Seriously.

2. What five books are, in your opinion, the best you've read to date?
Geez. Who writes these questions? They are HARD. Thought provoking even. Maybe it's just me.

1. Water For Elephants by Sara Gruen I just read this book last fall. After everyone else. I don't remember why I decided I would like it after NOT reading it for so long. I couldn't put it down. It was different than anything that I had ever read.
   
2. Emma and Me by Elizabeth Flock I had read a couple of other books by her and fell in love with her writing style. It is written from the perspective of the little girl, Carrie. Then I got to the end. I never saw it coming. Normally, I can start a new book later in the day or the next. It took me three days to recover. If you never read another book, read this one. Well done, Elizabeth.
   
3. She's Come Undone by Wally Lamb Although we had different childhoods, I related to this character in a way that I had never before. I first read it over ten years ago. I re-read it this past fall. I own a copy. No doubt I will read it again.
   
4. The Help by Kathryn Stockett This book caught my eye from the shelves at Target. I didn't purchase it -that is a rarity- but I knew I wanted to read it. Oddly enough, I thought it was about something else. I FINALLY was able to get a copy from the library late this past fall. I could not stop reading. I am hoping that she'll write another book soon. I've got my eyes on it..... Congratulations, Kathryn. Every writer hopes the first book will get published.
   
5. In Her Shoes by Jennifer Weiner You know I love me some Jennifer. There is not one of her books that I do not love. However, there was something special about this book. I just read it in early-December. I thought I knew what it was about because I had seen the movie. Come to find out, I hadn't seen the movie, or at least not enough. This book made me think. Period. And if you have seen the movie, read the book. You'll get some extra-special stuff that just makes it all the more enjoyable.
   

3. What is your favorite guilty pleasure?

Used bookstores. Seriously. I love walking in and not knowing what could be on the shelves. Last Monday, I went to a bookstore that I don't normally go to. Mostly because I can get the books cheaper at other places. However, I was looking for a specific book and I have a good amount of credit there. While I didn't find the book I wanted, I kept looking at the shelves at all the possibilities....and then I found a book that I had been wanting for at least two years. It was a hardback, so I tentatively pulled it out to check her price. It was less than she normally prices them. It became mine....Even though I had already been to the library AND Goodwill, it totally made my day to find that book.

4. You are in a store and notice a woman using a child wearing a backpack to steal various items. Would you alert a member of management? Why or why not?

I can hardly wait to hear the back lash on this one....Ok, here is my thing. I would probably do an assessment of what they are stealing. That probably sounds all judge-y and whatnot, but it really would depend:

Are they relatively well- dressed and stealing clothes? Yes
Are they not-so-well dressed and stealing clothes at say, Macy's? Yes

Are they stealing cokes, candy, and expensive meat cuts at the grocery store? Yes
Are they stealing a loaf of bread, a jar of peanut butter, and some tuna? Maybe not

Stealing is wrong, period. There are too many avenues one can take to acquire the necessities in life when one finds him or herself in difficult times. I know that some people would say things like, "I would never get food from a food pantry. That's just not my style." or "I wouldn't work at McDonald's. I know there is a better job out there."

I would have a severe panic attack if I had to ask for food to feed my children. But in times of desperate need, I would go if it meant they got fed.

As long as I am able to make money SOMEHOW legally, I don't want to work at McDonald's. But if that was the only way I could make the funds necessary to take care of my children, I would do it.

However, if all avenues had been closed to me. If the food pantry turned me away and I could not get anyone to hire me AND MY KIDS WERE HUNGRY- yes, I would steal food.

And that is why I would not tell on the lady stealing bread, peanut butter, and tuna. More than likely, I would find a way to see if I could help her out. Now if she gets nasty with me, then it's on. I am totally telling.

5.You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?

I would say something like, "Really? That's strange. I've known "Sally" for years and that seems really out of character for her. As a matter of fact one time she (insert something GOOD here)."
Then, I would probably freak out and worry about what they say behind MY back.

6.What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?

Writing a completed novel. Fear is the thing holding me back. I am scared of the rejection-actually I expect it- but rather the success.

So that's about it. I actually enjoyed these questions and reading your responses. I don't know that I'll ever do this again, but I have a few more questions should the need ever arise.

In the meantime, I suppose it's back to the rambling hit-or-miss posting you've come to expect.


Grammatical errors and all.

Tough call

Question of the Day:

You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?

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I hope everyone is having a great week!

Question of the Day:

You are in a store and notice a woman using a child wearing a backpack to steal various items. Would you alert a member of management? Why or why not?