Check On It, Repeatedly

While I don't talk about it openly, it's not a secret that I struggle with my weight. But I think some mothers do have hard time losing those last twenty or thirty pounds after having a baby.

What I didn't know was that nineteen years would pass, and I'd still be carrying it.

After years of fanning myself with the bathroom scale, I hit my all time non-pregnant high a couple of years ago and stayed mostly steady. Since I wasn't working outside the house, I didn't try hard enough to get healthy. Yoga stretch pants and loose shirts became my standard uniform. I lost all confidence because everything I put on looked horrible.

About the time I decided to get serious, using the MyFitnessPal app, I dropped a couple of pounds and gained a new job. A job that required business attire. And hose. And dress shoes.

Being plus and petite does not make for a good time at the mall. Add in a modest budget that doesn't allow for off-the-rack purchasing, and you'll understand my pain. I managed to put together a halfway decent wardrobe, but I still didn't feel confident in my appearance.

Photo Credit: Google Images

Thankfully, I've dropped just over twenty pounds, and while I feel better physically, clothes are fitting nicer. I feel myself becoming more confident and not wanting to hide beneath draping, unattractive layers.

My current favorite pants are a charcoal grey, cotton, and have a neat but slight sheen to them. They just feel good on. I bought them months prior, even though they didn't fit well, as a goal for myself. Plus they were marked down 75 percent, making them less than ten bucks. I even hemmed them. Myself.

I wore them a couple of weeks ago then I washed them. I agonized whether I should dry them.  They are 98 percent cotton (and oh-so-soft). On the other hand, cotton clothes are a pain-in-the----- to iron out the hung-dry wrinkles.

Convenience won over practicality.

Knowing I was taking a chance on shrinkage, and we are six-days post Thanksgiving, I worried they wouldn't fit today.

They did. With extra room to spare.

(Thank you MyFitnessPal and lack of snacks.)

 I was oh-so-sassy today with my fancy charcoal pants, black cowl-neck sweater, black heels. Hair, despite having been freshly washed, laid perfectly. Cute grey and black dangle earrings completed the ensemble.

I stopped in Target before heading to work. Walked all the way to the back of the store - electronics - then over to peruse the books before leaving. I sashayed my way to the front, feeling slim(mer) and confident. About twenty, maybe forty feet before a checkout lane I noticed a woman just staring at me. I smiled. She continued to stare, not returning the gesture.

 At the end of the main aisle, just before I turned, she finally quit looking my direction, and continued on with her business.

Inside the car, I grabbed the seat belt, and that's when I felt it.

My pants were unzipped.

I suddenly imaged her having a conversation with her friend over coffee:

" You are going to love this. You know that dark-haired chick at the bank? The short one? I don't think she's been there long. Well, I saw her today at Target. Girl was all 'click,click,click' in her noisy little shoes like she owned the place. The whole time her pants are gaping open at the zipper with each step. 'Help me, help me.' I was cracking up. Honestly, how does one forget to zip her pants?" 


My mortification over my discovery lasted about as long as it took for me to post a status on Facebook and get a Diet Coke at Sonic. Within ten minutes, I was at work, sassy and confident.

But the security department probably had a good time watching our cameras today since I probably checked my zipper once or thirty times.

Just in case.



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Sometimes It's Better to Forget

Back in the day, I could remember anything. My mind was a steel trap. Well, in complete disclosure, I remembered anything I wanted to remember.

Names, numbers, directions to some locale—it was all there. No need to take notes. Tell me once, and I’d have it.

I can’t remember the exact day that I realized I didn’t remember things like I usually did. I want to say it was somewhere between Nicholas and Darrin being born. Who knows? I can’t remember.

However, I do recall my dad talking about some past event. I looked at him as if it was the most ridiculous thing I’d ever heard and that he’d made it up. Somehow he managed to jog my memory. In my distress, he said, “Don’t worry. Your brain is like a computer. It dumps things it doesn’t think it needs anymore so you have room for more things. Like the hard drive, it’s not really gone—it just takes some work to dredge it back up.”

Well, alrighty then.

I quit worrying about what I didn’t remember and started to rely on copious notes, my cell phone, and my calendar. It seemed like I still had it all together.

A few nights ago, Big Daddy and I got into a discussion about the exact timeline of events occurring about twelve years ago--almost to the day. It would seem my memories as things unfolded are very different than his memories. I defended my recollections with specific details, countering that I had to be correct. He also had details to back up his argument. Finally I gave in. Having just been hospitalized a few months prior, I thought perhaps my heavy medication regimen at the time skewed my memories.

Only, there seem to be a lot of holes I can’t remember. And don’t know why I don’t remember.

Yesterday, I read a post by Courtney. She and I lived across the street from one another. We didn’t run in the same circles, but we seemed to be friendly towards one another. I am pretty sure she was at my Sweet 16 party.

Her post haunted me.  Here we attended the same small-town high school and the things she described caused me to cry. How could I have been there and not seen it? Or what if I did and blocked it from my memory?

It makes me sad that I can’t remember yet Courtney can’t forget. 

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Ten Minutes of Your Life

I have a slight confession:
I had been working on this entry day-by-day. My intention was that by Saturday, it would be done, and I would set it to auto-post. However, the powers of procrastination took over. Then to be slammed with a headache on Sunday so terrible, I would have gladly taken ice picks to my eyes to relieve the pain, that meant I couldn't/wouldn't/didn't have this post finished.

I didn't even get online yesterday.

Much.

At any rate, I appreciate your taking the time to read my posts. I have also changed up the comment form so that hopefully it is easier for you. No more word verification, either.

(For now.)

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For my oh-so-revealing answers to the Question of the Day, read on:

1. If you were granted access to only one blog of your choosing, which blog would you choose and why?
-Why did I pick such a hard question?!? This took a great deal of thought. There are reasons that I read every blog that I read. Having said that, in only choosing one, I would choose:

Sophie (aka, BooMama) I just love her upbeat posts. Two things: I doubt seriously she even knows I read her. Or follow her on Twitter. Or she lives about an hour and a half from me. (That sounded slightly stalker-ish. Yikes.)

We had an email conversation once. About corn bread. Seriously.

2. What five books are, in your opinion, the best you've read to date?
Geez. Who writes these questions? They are HARD. Thought provoking even. Maybe it's just me.

1. Water For Elephants by Sara Gruen I just read this book last fall. After everyone else. I don't remember why I decided I would like it after NOT reading it for so long. I couldn't put it down. It was different than anything that I had ever read.
   
2. Emma and Me by Elizabeth Flock I had read a couple of other books by her and fell in love with her writing style. It is written from the perspective of the little girl, Carrie. Then I got to the end. I never saw it coming. Normally, I can start a new book later in the day or the next. It took me three days to recover. If you never read another book, read this one. Well done, Elizabeth.
   
3. She's Come Undone by Wally Lamb Although we had different childhoods, I related to this character in a way that I had never before. I first read it over ten years ago. I re-read it this past fall. I own a copy. No doubt I will read it again.
   
4. The Help by Kathryn Stockett This book caught my eye from the shelves at Target. I didn't purchase it -that is a rarity- but I knew I wanted to read it. Oddly enough, I thought it was about something else. I FINALLY was able to get a copy from the library late this past fall. I could not stop reading. I am hoping that she'll write another book soon. I've got my eyes on it..... Congratulations, Kathryn. Every writer hopes the first book will get published.
   
5. In Her Shoes by Jennifer Weiner You know I love me some Jennifer. There is not one of her books that I do not love. However, there was something special about this book. I just read it in early-December. I thought I knew what it was about because I had seen the movie. Come to find out, I hadn't seen the movie, or at least not enough. This book made me think. Period. And if you have seen the movie, read the book. You'll get some extra-special stuff that just makes it all the more enjoyable.
   

3. What is your favorite guilty pleasure?

Used bookstores. Seriously. I love walking in and not knowing what could be on the shelves. Last Monday, I went to a bookstore that I don't normally go to. Mostly because I can get the books cheaper at other places. However, I was looking for a specific book and I have a good amount of credit there. While I didn't find the book I wanted, I kept looking at the shelves at all the possibilities....and then I found a book that I had been wanting for at least two years. It was a hardback, so I tentatively pulled it out to check her price. It was less than she normally prices them. It became mine....Even though I had already been to the library AND Goodwill, it totally made my day to find that book.

4. You are in a store and notice a woman using a child wearing a backpack to steal various items. Would you alert a member of management? Why or why not?

I can hardly wait to hear the back lash on this one....Ok, here is my thing. I would probably do an assessment of what they are stealing. That probably sounds all judge-y and whatnot, but it really would depend:

Are they relatively well- dressed and stealing clothes? Yes
Are they not-so-well dressed and stealing clothes at say, Macy's? Yes

Are they stealing cokes, candy, and expensive meat cuts at the grocery store? Yes
Are they stealing a loaf of bread, a jar of peanut butter, and some tuna? Maybe not

Stealing is wrong, period. There are too many avenues one can take to acquire the necessities in life when one finds him or herself in difficult times. I know that some people would say things like, "I would never get food from a food pantry. That's just not my style." or "I wouldn't work at McDonald's. I know there is a better job out there."

I would have a severe panic attack if I had to ask for food to feed my children. But in times of desperate need, I would go if it meant they got fed.

As long as I am able to make money SOMEHOW legally, I don't want to work at McDonald's. But if that was the only way I could make the funds necessary to take care of my children, I would do it.

However, if all avenues had been closed to me. If the food pantry turned me away and I could not get anyone to hire me AND MY KIDS WERE HUNGRY- yes, I would steal food.

And that is why I would not tell on the lady stealing bread, peanut butter, and tuna. More than likely, I would find a way to see if I could help her out. Now if she gets nasty with me, then it's on. I am totally telling.

5.You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?

I would say something like, "Really? That's strange. I've known "Sally" for years and that seems really out of character for her. As a matter of fact one time she (insert something GOOD here)."
Then, I would probably freak out and worry about what they say behind MY back.

6.What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?

Writing a completed novel. Fear is the thing holding me back. I am scared of the rejection-actually I expect it- but rather the success.

So that's about it. I actually enjoyed these questions and reading your responses. I don't know that I'll ever do this again, but I have a few more questions should the need ever arise.

In the meantime, I suppose it's back to the rambling hit-or-miss posting you've come to expect.


Grammatical errors and all.

And so it ends...

..no, not the blog.

Sometimes I consider it, though.

Today marks the last of the week of questions. Tomorrow, I shall post my answers to the previous week's questions.

Until then, here is the last Question of the Day:

What is the one thing you'd really like to ask me, but have been afraid to up until this point?

(Every question asked WILL get an answer.)

One Hundred Is An Even Number

Oddly enough, I have had a "100 Things" post in my drafts folder since 2008. Some talk started over such matters in the Social Media Moms group I am in on Facebook. SO, it is time to dust this bad girl off, tweek to fit current times, and share with the world!

May I present,

"100 Things About Me (You May or May Not Know)"

-or-

"Yet, Another List"

1. I grew up in Indiana.

2. I would probably still be there had I not had a baby at 18 and my parents were moving here to Tennessee.

3. I hated Tennessee for the first six months or so, but would not move back North now for anything.

4. I am scared of things I can't see (e.g,. the ocean, thick weeds, the dark).

5. I used to want to travel out of the country, but now I don't think I want to cross over the ocean.

6. My first job was at age 13 working at Baskin-Robbins. They laid-me off after only six weeks.

7. If I got called back to work at Baskin, I would turn it down.

8. I auditioned for "Wheel of Fortune."

9. Because I live so close to Nashville, I have met many singers. Mostly old-school Country.

10. I don't listen to country music; it gives me the creeps, unless it's a song that crossed over to pop like "Stay," or "Before He Cheats."

11. There are several movies that I will watch every time one comes on TV including: Drumline, Sleepless in Seattle, You've Got Mail, Castaway, 8 Mile....

12. I have yet to a break a bone :::knock on wood:::

13. I have not traveled west of the Mississippi that I can remember. (There was a camping trip to Missouri when I was two, apparently)

14. Although I love being in college, and fondly look forward to graduation and the day I secure a teaching job, I could be a professional student. There is so much to learn.
(edit 1/17: Graduated in May, 2010. Chose not to pursue teaching at this time.)

15. I wish I could be a surrogate mom.

16. I quit smoking in November of '05. It was the hardest thing I ever did.

17. The only time orange is an acceptable color is during October, but only in little bits.

18. I love candles, but never light them.

19. I don't like gold jewelry.

20. I don't like the blinds closed for any reason. I figure if someone can see in and don't like what they see, they won't look again. Big Daddy is afraid someone WILL like what they see. ::rolls on the floor with laughter::

21. I have a book obsession.

22. I love to iron. It's soothing to me.

23. I may or may not have a slight obsession with office supplies: pens, pencils, decorative papers, notebooks....

24. I prefer to be at home than anywhere.

25. I don't understand "boredom."

26. My husband thinks I am too hard on the kids.

27. I think my husband isn't hard enough.

28. We eat dinner as a family every night that he is home.

29. I make a traditional Sunday dinner every Sunday.

30. We eat out less than once a month.

31. I have married twice and have never had a wedding with all the fixins.

32. If (god forbid) something happens to this marriage, I won't get remarried.

33. I love to cook but hate to bake.
-------(original list actually stopped here. The rest of this list is new! fresh! exciting!)------
34. I just learned to crochet this past Christmas.

35. It is yet another obsession.

36. I am obsessed with learning how to knit with the needles. I received a loom set for Christmas an love it.

37. I can cast-on, but not knit the first row.

38. I am more scared of success than failure.

39. I have an idea for a non-fiction book that I want to write. I feel like it could be picked up. And while there are many books on this particular subject, there are none that I have found written from the perspective I would write it.

40. If I wrote the book, it could potentially implode my family. The truth can be more hurtful than a lie.

41. I will write a book. Fiction, of course. I have one started (again) and all mapped out.

42. I get obsessively jealous when "celebrities" pen a book. Especially when promoting said book on talk show and admit to using a "collaborator."

43. In other words, said "celebrity" did not write the book. Yet, gets paid.

44. I selfishly wish that just ONE time, someone would call/email and say, "Hey. We saw your stuff. We know you've got it. Here's a check. Turn in the first draft by this date. We look forward to working with you."

45. I also selfishly wish that my blog was one that was so widely read, I would have hundreds of comments a day and possibly get invited to a conference.

46. I think the girl that has the same name as I and has already purchased our name as a domain should pair up. She is a web designer.

47. I always wished I had a sister and an older brother.

48. I can not stand the smell of watermelon. From the actual melon or artificial. It makes me want to vomit.

49. I would like to home school my boys. The younger one is all for it, but the older says no because he likes being in band.

50. My husband doesn't think I am qualified to teach our children.

51. My husband thinks I would make a great teacher for other people's children.

52. People tend to tell me their problems.

53. I like listening to people that need to talk.

54. I am horrible about dealing with my own crazy.

55. I love to watch people.

56. I carry a notebook in my pocketbook so I can write down interesting things I see or hear.

57. I make up little stories for people.

58. Little old ladies and men that are holding hands get happy endings always.

59. I am so quiet that people think I am probably a snob or stuck-up.

60. In actuality, I'd like to think I am one of the nicest people you'll meet.

61. Until you cross me.

62. Or mess with my children, husband, or dogs.

63. Then, you will suffer.

64. I work better at night than in the day.

65. Being a mom doesn't allow me to solely work the night shift.

66. I don't like uneven numbers, but I tend to be drawn to uneven situations.

67. Such as, three items in a sentence: I need milk, eggs, and cheese.

68. Flower arrangements are usually in threes or fives.

69. I only birthed three children.

70. I don't like samples at the grocery store.

71. It grosses me out.

72. I have never driven out-of-state without a parent or husband in tow.

73. I wish I could open my home to foster children.

74. I would probably never want them to leave.

75. I would like to own a beach house.

76. It would be my only house.

77. When I pump my gas, I have to make the money amount end on either a 5 or 0.

78. Which is strange given my dislike for odd numbers.

79. In my mind, quarters are even amounts.

80. I have a secret list of jobs I would like to do.

81. I would like to be a health inspector.

82. My husband said that we'd never eat out again if I did.

83. I'd like to work at a publishing house.

84. I'd also like to work on continuity either on a movie or sitcom.

85. I'd also like to be a midwife.

86. I wish TV was like it used to be.

87. Roseanne, Full House, Family Ties, Cosby: I used to love all those shows and more.

88. I feel old when I say, "When I was a kid..." (I am 36.)

89. Certain Publix commercials make me cry.

90. "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" by Israel "IZ" Kamakawiwoʻole makes me cry, too.

91. I avoid crowds at all costs.

92. I would still like to be in Times Square on New Year's Eve.

93. I have had three short stories published.

94. My short stories can't be found at Borders, Books-A-Million, or even Goodwill.

95. My first story was unofficially named, "Favorite Prose" by facility members.

96. For the other two, I was given awards. First place on the first, second on the second, oddly enough.

97. I support feminism.

98. I also support chivalry.

99. I am raising two boys that will open and hold a door for not only their lady but a stranger; pay for the date even if she called; respect a lady as his contemporary not as the poor sole condemned to cleaning up his over spray in the bathroom.

100. I will never be amazed at my super powers to predict that the toilet paper is low/out and still manage to leave the next person stocked.

If you'd like to read more 100 things penned by some phenom ladies, be sure to click here, read Jessica's and then follow the links at the bottom.

If you are here FROM Jessica's link-up welcome but don't be shy! Leave a comment. Follow me. Look for me on Networked Blogs on Facebook. Or even follow my tweets @coolandhip.

The kids have left for school. It's going to be a good day, folks.

Or at the very least, quiet.

If you write it on Facebook, they will see it

It is 10:09 P.M. as I start this post. I should have started at 10:09 (or earlier) this morning, but as everything else in my life, those plans went awry.

Anyway, I have a lot of thoughts that I just need to get out in the open. Why I feel the need to do it in an open forum escapes me, but alas, here we are.

I totally ended that last sentence with a verb. A "to be" verb at that. It's grammatically incorrect, and I can live with it for the moment.

________________________

1. Thank you for the input on my new bloggy design. I really like it, but the colors do tend to distract me from time to time. Not that I am looking at my own front page that often, but I don't want anyone not to read because of the design. There have been blogs in the past that I wouldn't return to because I didn't like the design.

Having said that, don't be concerned if it changes....

2. Jennifer Weiner (link opens to her blog) is my hero. She is my inspiration. She is the writer I wish I was. Anyway, I follow her on Twitter. She blogs live every Monday night comments about the "Bachelor." Hilarious. She made two other comments to which I directly tweeted her a comment. While she did not respond, I secretly hoped she would. It may be good she didn't. I would have fallen over dead. And apparently Big Daddy needs my income. The sad pittance it may be....

Now that I think about it, I should probably put some sort of clause in our will stating that should I ever have the chance to communicate with Ms. Weiner, no matter the method, and I find, or rather he finds me dead, HE is NOT allowed to sue her for pain and suffering or any other manner of remuneration he may pick up on one of those judge shows.


3. Yesterday, I had the meeting with a Girl Scout Troop. I was over prepared but not nervous at all! It helped that I knew the girls from school.

Two things I learned from the meeting:
-Be cautious of any thing your post as your status on Facebook. On Saturday, I posted: "Just had a meeting with the small folks. I am resigning as "The Maid" and promoting myself to "The Queen." One of the troop leaders that also happens to be one of my friends said, "So how is being the Queen going?"

At first I was in a panic--she didn't make a comment on that post! I answered her, laughed and moved on.

(It's going well, so far.)

Later, I was passing out business cards to the girls. I told them that if they thought of questions later, they were more than welcome to email me. Even if it was about homework. One girl, whom I had taught when she was in fourth grade said, "How fast do you respond? Are you online a lot?"

I was starting to spit out, "Yes. For work, a lot of time is spent online blah blah blah..." when the other troop leader whom is also my friend on FB said rather frankly, "Yeah. She's online a lot."

Um. Yeah. Alrightly then.


4. There is a long standing argument, not in an ugly way, between Big Daddy and me. While I love that he is my number one fan, his positivity (on this particular subject) grates on my last good nerve. There is going to come a time that one of us will be the victor. Secretly, I hope I win; that means I will have met my writing goals. However, it would seem of late that HE is actually going to be wrong.

It will kill us both (strictly emotionally speaking) if he wins.

I guess we'll see.

Thanks for listening. I know this post is about as clear as mud. Which should give you a clear idea the sheer thickness of thoughts running through my mind at the moment.

An Old Gal Learns New Tricks

This past week has been a strange week for me. But in hindsight, it has actually been quite good. The dirty laundry might disagree, but we are not on speaking terms at the moment, so I don't care.

The following is a listing of things I have done for the first time this week:
(Author's note: Items are not listed in a particular order. Willy-nilly is the theme.)

• I was contacted to speak to a Girl Scout Troop about writing. This will be my very first public speaking assignment for professional reasons.
  
• Bought some materials to learn to knit, "With two sticks", as Darrin puts it. I have managed to cast-on!
  
• Went into a store to secretly shop and test customer service for a particular product. I can't really talk about this much...it has to remain a mystery. Shhh...
• Was disappointed that school was canceled four days in a row. (They were out yesterday, too, but it didn't bother me.) In the not-so-distant past, I would have whooped and hollered for the chance to sleep in.
  
• Ordered a Unanimous Decision at Moe's rather my usual Funkmeister with Sour Cream. (Sorry, Moe's. I refuse to call it an Overachiever.)
• I learned to make a button for my blog. Here are some rough drafts:

I know. I still have a long row to hoe.

• FINALLY learned what the idiom, "One in the hand is worth two in the bush," means. Thank you, Geico.
• Downloaded Gimp, Picnik, and Picasa. Picnik and Picasa are photo editing software programs that you can download for the low bargain basement price of FREE! While Picnic has more fun features and I am currently obsessed, I really like Picasa for the simple stuff.
• Stepped on the scale and then stepped off. Moved it, reset it, and stepped on it again. Cried. reached highest non-pregnant weight-ever.
  
• Picture this: Darrin is sitting behind me, I am not sure what he is doing. He asks me to spell a word. I spell, "a-l-o-u-d." He is quiet for a few minutes and then holds up a sign he made for his door. It reads, "Horses Aloud!" I never thought to ask which aloud/allowed he wanted to spell....
• Called my neighbor to borrow an ingredient needed to make meatloaf.
• Made a mock-version of Olive Garden's Chicken and Gnocchi soup. I even made the gnocchi from scratch.
• Made a recipe from this website. The next day she was was on "Good Morning America." For some reason, I felt like one of my friends was on. (Note: link will take you directly to the soup I made.)

All of this "new" stuff is on top of my regular work load. No wonder I am behind.

How was your week?

On the Menu: Crow and Humble Pie

Perhaps it is ironic.

No, that would be incorrect usage.

Is it a paradox?

Um, I am not sure.

Whatever it is, I couldn't hear the laughter for all my self-promotion and horn tootin'.

After all my talk about grammar, mechanics, and usage, this morning I got a big smack in the face. There are some areas of mechanics that I have to focus on and really think about when proofreading anything. But for the last six months, I have been reading grammar books like other people read the latest release off the Best Seller's List.

I thought that I had reviewed areas I had forgotten, learned things I never knew, and strengthened skills I was already using.

And then, the unthinkable happened.

This morning, after logging onto one of the content providers I write for, a new section calling for proofreaders opened up. I knew this element was coming, and I was excited for it. In order to be granted access, a ten-question test has to be passed with a 90% or better. Those receiving a failing grade can re-test three months from the test date.

So, I took the test.

And in three months I can try again.

In the meantime, I will be spending some time studying and taking some tests.
Interactive Online Grammar Exercises - English Grammar Connection
BBC - Skillswise - Words - Grammar
Basic Skill Practice Games
Grammar and Punctuation | The Blue Book of Grammar and Punctuation

Since I started this post, I had to go into the forum of the content site to find a link. Others started a thread stating that they had not passed the test either. Hmm...interesting.

This shall be the next-to-last time I mention the blatant misuse of someone's grammar or mechanics.

Here it goes:

As seen on a banner for a new business opening in town, "So-and-So's Thrift Shop. Now accepting ladie's clothes...."

As seen in my own bureau drawer, a returned envelope addressed to "The Manco's."

Oh yes, I did.

Learning Curve

I think we have long established the list of things that I don't do well.

I think it has also long since been established the one thing that I do do well is the fact that I CAN list the things I don't do well.

(In case you were wondering, I giggled to myself at the "do do" above. Sign # 4356 that I am the mother of boys.)

You may be surprised to learn that I am terribly shy. Like, probably-need-to-be-medicated shy.

But my shyness has a limit. In front of a classroom of kids, I am (at least in my mind) the funniest, most outgoing person you could meet. I will joke, dance, do yoga, sing a song, or stand on my head if it means that a child will learn something. But let another adult walk into the room, and my heart starts pounding, my hands get palmy, my throat gets dry, and I probably sound like a blithering idiot.

When it comes to my online presence, I am more outgoing, until it comes to how shall I say? Pimping myself out?

Sure, those that are friends with me on facebook know that I will occasionally post something that I wrote or brag about something I did, but that's about it.

Recently, I had an epiphany about this shyness. I realized that the people that are succeeding with their blogs, writing careers, referrals, or anything else that necessitates networking are well, networking.

Twitter. LinkedIn. Stumble. Facebook. Etc. and so forth.

I have been writing for six months. Hundreds of articles, newsletters, how-to advice, and web content for other people. Copyrights sold. Nothing save for six articles on the Yahoo! Contributor Network (formally Associated Content) that has my byline on it.

For the last few days, I have been stepping out of my comfort zone. Not real far. Baby steps really.

I will be successful. Or at least will have something to show. For someone to say, "Well, she tried. That's for sure."

Who knows? One day you all can say, "I knew her when no one knew her."

And so it begins...

The first day of 2011 was pretty good overall.

Being that we all were up until at least midnight or just slightly past, our rooster otherwise known as Nicholas, slept until after 9 A.M., giving us all the chance for some extra beauty sleep.

As far as the rest of the day, we have unproductively productive:

• Took down the Christmas tree and put away the four decorations. A job that takes no more than one hour when the house is fully tinseled was finally considered finished after four.
  
• I finished knitting one slipper that Nicholas had asked for. Before starting the second, I had him try it on. It was too small. He also hates the design. The very design I told him he wouldn't like.
  
• I made two trips to the attic to find a tote of "missing" Christmas ornaments that doesn't exist.
• Picked back up on a previous crochet project that was set aside for requested knitted items. I really need to get busy and make someone special those baby booties she asked about a few weeks ago. Given the state of Nicholas' one slipper, she may want me to practice more....
• Asked the boys to clean their room.
• Still waiting.
  
• As of this writing, Big Daddy is snoring on the couch while "V" plays in the background. A show he requested to watch.
  

As far as reservations go, it's pretty reserved around here. Darrin did say he was going to save more money. But seeing as he gets none, I hate that he isn't going to be successful. Big Daddy did say that he made "some or one" but wouldn't divulge the details. He said it was like a birthday wish; if he told it wouldn't come true. Nicholas didn't say one way or another, but if his was, "Talk back to my mother and have major attitude for at least an hour a day, " then he is on the right track.


If I were to make any reservations, this is what I would say:

• Lose 50 pounds by next December in order to prevent the Type 2 diabetes my mother was just diagnosed with.
• Triple my monthly income by June.
• Finish writing my book by the end of February.
• Pay off my student loan and our generous family member by June.
• Comment on blogs every day.
• Make a blog post every day.
  

But since I don't make New Years (Year's?) reservations, I can't fail.

Right?

Come along and ride a Fantastic Voyage. Slippity slide.

Welcome to our today. This ride may take many twists and turns unexpectedly. Please keep arms and legs inside at all times. Those with back problems, heart conditions, or pregnant are welcome to ride. Riders are cautioned, however, and must proceed at own risk. Enjoy your ride!

I am not even sure how seven days have passed without posting. I couldn't believe it until I saw it with my own eyes.

First things first: earlier I was reading Knocked Up by Rebecca Eckler when I came across the line, "....doesn't mean I'm not cool and hip."

That just cracked me up for a couple of reasons:

1. The orginial title for this blog was going to be I'm Not Cool and Hip. But I didn't like the flow.
2. That is the number one search query that bring people to this blog.

Secondly: Apparently my grammar issues have rubbed off on my middle child. We were at Big Daddy's tent at the Goat Festival (I know. Please.) when he says, "Mommy. Look at that trailer over there. They have (uses his hands to make air quotes) those quotation marks around 'fried' and 'pies'. That doesn't look right."

::beams with pride::

I tell him, "You are right. It isn't."

He spent the rest of the day looking for errors.

Also, later in the day, I may or may not have corrected a stack of someone's business cards that were left in on top of the hair dryer in Burger King. The cards were proud of the fact that "to local companys" are opening soon.

I wish I had taken a card. I'd like to know what these "companys" do. Perhaps I could have offered my services....

Speaking of grammar, I was reading another book and found a subject/verb disagreement. I guess even the best editors can make a mistake.

Third: There are a couple of reasons I haven't written in a week. Well, excuses would probably be a more accurate description.

A. The kids are on Fall Break. We have one computer--a desktop. They are loud and I am used to quiet during the day.
B. I spent one WHOLE day reading.
C. Big Daddy has been getting ready for the festival. He needed my "help."
D. Yesterday, I ended up spending all day at aforementioned festival. (It wasn't bad. Cute, actually. Probably nicer than our state fair.)
E. When I went to write the next day's post for Sara's Challenge , after perusing the pages to find my style, it was then I realized that I didn't have one. Never have, really. (For day number 17)

That led to other feelings of doubt, which led to other feelings....

Basically I've been having a pity party. Which probably could have been avoided if I had been taking my prescription properly.

Oops.

Anyway, I am feeling better now. Or something like it. And shall resume posting regularly soon. Of course, we have one more week of Fall Break. But I will give it the old college try.



Thank you for riding the Cool and Hip Emotional Roller Coaster today. Please follow the arrows for the proper exiting procedure. Be sure to take all personal belongings. Anything left behind will be sold on eBay, Craigslist, or distributed as employee Christmas gifts. Have a lovely day! We hope to see you again soon.

Normal people don't procastinate. Normally.

I am terribly behind in my blogging which ironically is a perfect lead-in to today's topic from Sara's 30-Day Challenge:

Day 13-"What is the best piece of advice that you have ever received?"

Don't put off until tomorrow, what you can do today.

As the WORLD'S worst procrastinator, I am constantly putting off "until tomorrow." As I have grown up ever so slightly, I have come to realize the benefit of getting things done today.

Wait. I am thinking the above statement is incorrect. If I claimed to be the "world's worst procrastinator" wouldn't that mean I DON'T put things off and always get stuff done?

Perhaps it should read, "...WORLD'S BEST procrastinator...."

GAH! I don't know. I'll figure it out later.

Anyway, in an effort to get ahead on some things that have been put off enough this week, here is the next question in Sara's Challenge:

Day14- "What is the worst advice that you have ever received?"

A long time ago, I was going to a therapist. He had been trying to "cure" me of my OCPD*
when finally, during a converstation about toothpaste of all things, he says to me, "You are just not normal. You need to start doing things like everyone else."

I did not return after that appointment. I could not get past the fact he said I wasn't "normal." What does that even mean? Still to this day, it is extremely unusual for me to use the word "normal" in reference to a person. Or ever.

Further, it is possible that he exacerbated my OCPD. Telling me that I NEED to do something is pretty much guaranteeing that the opposite is going to occur.

Not that I am head- strong or anything.

We'll analyze that tomorrow.

Cry, Eat, Sleep

Day 11: "My ultimate comfort food."

I can only choose one?

Geez.

I actually had to ask Big Daddy about this one. But he was right on...when I am REALLY down low, I always want fried chicken. Preferably from Publix. I don't know what it is about it. He thinks it's the salt.

At any rate, that is the only time you'd ever see fried chicken (on a bone) pass through these lips.









Oh! And look at this picture! Aren't they pretty?

I wouldn't say they were comforting AT ALL. These perfect little disk-like chocolate candies. Melt in your mouth-not in your hand.....

I've Got Your Embarrassing Moment Right Here

I have a couple of questions before discussing the next topic in Sara's 30-day challenge:

1. I used the phrase "get under my crawl" yesterday. However, last night I was reading and the phrase "gets in my caw" was used. Which one is correct?

2. If you are my friend on Facebook, you may have seen this last night...
Yesterday, I saw a sign on an eye doctor's office that read,
"1 in 4 children has a vision problem."

It is my contention that the sign should read,
"1 in 4 children have a vision problem."

One of my teacher friends commented that the sign is correct. The subject of the sentence is 1 (one) so the verb should be plural (has).

My problem with the sign as it stands is the word children. So, if the emphasis is on the one child, shouldn't the sign read,
"1 child out of 4 has a vision problem?"

I guess what my real question should be is,
"Am I obsessing too much over grammar?"

Now on to an embarrassing incident in high school, because embarrassing myself as an adult in an open forum isn't enough for one day.

Day 9 of Sara's Challenge:

It was my senior year, late August of 1992. I had already missed my first period but did not really believe that I could be pregnant. After losing thirty pounds over the summer, and the excitement of the year, I thought perhaps I finally got lucky and was just skipping a month.

Even though a month had not been skipped since the very first appearance over seven years prior.

I finally got up the nerve to tell my mom that I suspected that she was "going to be a grandma." Those were my words to her. She still hasn't forgiven me for telling her that way.

My mom worked in the cafeteria of our high school. For the next several days, she'd come and ask me, "Did you start yet?" By this time, I was missing my second period.

Nope.

Meanwhile, another girl was also pregnant. She already knew and had no qualms about telling everyone in listening distance. I believe there was a two-day discussion of her condition in our English class. I wondered why she was so proud.

We finally found out that I was indeed pregnant. Since my mom thought I would be due too close to graduation, my parents decided that I needed to graduate early. I only lacked my English and Government credit. The only way to do that was to withdrawal from the high school I was attending, and go to another high school that offered that alternative. I went to school four nights a week, taking four classes, and graduated that December.

I also worked at the Hardee's in town. With all of my friends from high school. My friends were supportive, but my life had suddenly changed. I didn't feel like everyone else anymore.
I think the hardest for me was when they graduated that May.

Anyway, that was probably the most embarrassing thing that happened to me in high school. It was still a big deal for a girl to get pregnant in the early 90s, at least in Smalltown, Indiana where I lived.

I Can Literally List a Million

Day 8: "What is your least favorite quote or saying and why?"

There are three sayings that get under my crawl. And frankly, there are probably more, but I feel bad that I couldn't think of more than one quote that I liked.

I guess I focus on the negative too much. I am in a grumpy mood, so be prepared.
I am not sure if the order here is the exact pecking order as they all pretty much annoy me frequently.

3) "At the end of the day..."

To me this is a cop- out statement. It is a way for someone to justify what he or she is saying or doing by saying, "It won't really matter." I have only heard this used correctly perhaps once or twice. The rest of the time it is simply overused. Like the word literally.

(Although, I will claim to use literally. Literally once a day. At least.)

2) "I don't know."

This may not classify as a quote or saying; however, if I were perform a density percentage of my entire blog on this one phrase from quoting them, it would be HIGH. These people in my family drive me crazy with it. Again, I feel as though this is a cop-out. No one wants to actually have to think. Occasionally, I understand that whomever is being asked a question may not actually know, but come on, really? Every time a question is asked? Some days I feel as though they'd all rather I literally do their thinking for them.

1) "Boys will be boys."

Big Daddy KNOWS not to say this to me. I simply do not believe in it. It is another cop-out. Another way to justify some unsavory behavior.

To a point, I believe boys may have some primitive, unconscious desire to do things that are stereotypically "boy-like." And while that is all well and good, if my boys were to act up and I said, "Oh well. Boys will be boys," all I am doing is reinforcing that behavior rather than teaching them how to control impulses and make good choices.

If I wouldn't let my daughter do it, why would I let my boys?


And that's all I have to say about that.

Life Imitating Art

Day 6: Which TV Character do you think you are most like?

The first person that popped in my head was Roseanne Conner, from "Roseanne."

She's sassy, loud mouthed, and determined. She doesn't have a lot, but is proud of what she does have.

(And she dreams of being a writer.)

This is the show's finale. My absolute favorite eight minutes of the entire run. Plus, it explains that weird season after they won the lottery.

Oh, and just as a side note: Nicholas' middle name is Conner.

I am woman. Hear me roar. ::cough cough sputter choke::

Day 2 of Sara's Challenge asks:

"What do you feel are your biggest strengths?"

Okay, thinking back to the weaknesses, it's easier to think of negative things than positive. Wonder why that is? Must not be a strength....

1. I am faithful to a fault.
   
2. I am very open-minded. Even if something you think or do isn't something I would necessarily agree with, I will support you. I like to hear/think/research both sides of any subject. I want to understand where folks are coming from. Does that make sense?
3. I am detail-oriented. When it comes to other people that is. Most of time, I miss the blatant mistakes I make myself. (Big Daddy says this may be a weakness. He doesn't like my detailness*)
4. I will drop everything to help someone. Unless it costs money. But I can't help that because I have none. But I will try my darnedest. Where there is a will, there is a way.
   
5. I can find humor in anything. I don't like things to get too serious so I will do anything to turn the situation around. Could be a case of avoidance issues, I don't know. In any event, let's not talk about it.
   
6. I am determined. And if you tell me I can't do something? Well, you had better step aside. The square peg won't go into round hole? Hide and watch me. Unless you are trying to use reverse psychology on me. You don't want to be on the receiving end of that....
7. I recognize my flaws. Even if I don't want to talk about them.
8. I am an EOF. Equal Opportunity Friend. I don't care about your financial status, gender, orientation, religious affiliation, college team of choice, professional team of choice, marital status, views on education, political orientation, or child bearing status. Some restrictions do apply, however. Contact our friendly customer service personnel for more details.
   

Hmmm..I am not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.




(*And yes, I am making that word up. Feel free to borrow.)


Don't forget to enter the $60 CSN gift card giveaway. You can enter once every day!

Socially Challenged

If you are here from the Social Parade, welcome! I have plenty of laughs to go around, so I hope you'll take a look around and come back again. At times there may be chocolate and Diet Coke. Occasionally an iced tea.

Also, be sure to follow the link at the end of the post.....





Now, you all should have seen this coming. And when I saw it, I wasn't surprised at all. Sara at Life With The Two, who did the 30 Blog Challenge with me, wrote up her own challenge with her friend, Erica.

I was going to do the same thing, but quite frankly, I'd have to say that she did a much better job than I ever could have.

So, Day 1 asks:
"What Do You Think Are Your Biggest Flaws?"

I could write for days on this subject.

1. I am a procrastinator. And that doesn't even cover it. I am THE QUEEN. Seriously.
   
2. It drives me INSANE that my husband is a procrastinator. However it is probably good that we are married, being that he is THE KING and all.
   
3. I will let people walk over me, but then be ticked off for days because someone walked over me. Then Big Daddy has to listen to me go on and on about it. Probably why he developed selective hearing.
   
4. I have no self-esteem. I feel like no matter what I do or what I accomplish will never be good enough. About the time I do feel good about something, or feel like I accomplished even the tiniest feat, someone will make a negative comment and it blows the whole thing. It wouldn't matter if it was only one negative comment in a hundred.
5. I may or may not have a tendency to hold on to things. On an emotional, sense that is. Once someone has done me wrong, I may or may not hold a grudge.
   
6. I have no patience. Not to the point that I am the lady in line at the store huffin' and puffin' because I am having to wait. But it's other things. Like with the kids, I don't like to ask them twice to do something. Or the cashier that doesn't acknowledge I am there. Or the bagger that is rude to me over a coupon.
   

Well....I think that is enough of that for today.

I am going to put the contents of the challenge on a page of its own. If you decide to participate, leave a comment there and and your link so we all can follow along.


And if you have made it this far, don't forget to go to the giveaway page and enter. The drawing is one week from today. If it is your first time, please be sure to read the rules for entering.


Have a happy Friday!

I Don't Think GhostBusters Could Help

Day 26: Fears

Things that I would label as a fear would probably be re-labeled by a mental health professional as something else. Anxiety. Insecurity. Abnormal.

Pfft. Whatever.

I say, if something gives you that feeling, and you know what I mean, it's a fear.

Here are mine:

• Rejection
• Ironically, success. (more on this later)
• Things I can't see. For example, the ocean. I will get in until I can't see the bottom anymore, then I back up. You won't see me in a lake, either. Nor will I stick my hand into a box.
  
• Snakes
• Guns
• Electricity. But not to where I'm not able to plug in things, but not to be able to do any repairs or additions in the house. Exposed wire? YIKES!

There are probably more, but I am afraid I can't think of any more at the moment.
Don't judge, O.K?

Life In The Fast Lane

Day 25: A First

In the days (O.K.,years) leading up to my 16th birthday, I had grandiose ideas of what my first vehicle would be. My parents had already said they would be purchasing it. I figured I'd help them out and narrow down the choices for them.

My number one choice was a small pick-up. I was willing to settle for this:

I wasn't being unreasonable. Any color would have been acceptable.

My dad said that it wasn't practical for girls to drive pick-ups (Hello, beginning of feminism!) and my mom said the trackers were top heavy and prone to wreakage and deaths, or some such nonsense. The fact that my grandparents own a towing and recovery service had no bearing on those decisions, I am sure.

Next on my list was this:


I would have really liked an orangish or rust colored red. My aunt had an orange one that I coveted. She used to let me drive take me for rides in the country. It was a stick-shift.

Two problems with that scenario:
A) My dad worked for General Motors. My mom said it was disrespectful to get a foreign made car with American- made money. She had a good point. Of course, we are talking about the early 90s. These were the good old days when Walmart only sold products made in the USA.

2) This is a foreign car. Which means that the parts are foreign. Which means the bolts and such are metric. Which leads us back to point A. He only had standard measure tools. Not to mention, because of the foreign-ess of said car, parts would be harder to come by. There was one place like an hour from where we lived. The other was in Pennsylvania.

So here is what I ultimately ended up with:

A 1980 Chevrolet Chevette.

(I know you are jealous.)

Only it wasn't this color. Think more along these lines:
I couldn't have hidden in the crowd even if I wanted to. And to this day I have yet to see that color in nature or another car for that matter.

Here's how the Sweet 16 went down:

• Got my permit in '89.
• They bought my car in the summer of '90.
• I turned 16 in November of that year. C
  
• I was finally allowed to get my license in JULY of '91.

(I still, to this day, don't know what the reasoning to that was.)

Once I was finally let loose in my 'Vette, my parents slapped a bumper sticker that read:

If you don't like how I am driving, please call my parents at:
(317) XXX-XXXX

This guy I was dating for about ten minutes actually did me a favor and "stole" it.

With the beginning of my first car became the beginning of other firsts:

• car accident that I was both guilty and innocent of. (middle car of a three-car accident)
• first trip to the ER with lights on
• first break-in. The losers LEFT all my loose change but stole my collections of these:

Yeah, I had these in the car. I was called Smurfette, after all.

And because I worked at Hardee's, I also had this:




It was a regular crime wave.

In the end, my relationship with my Smurfmobile was short-lived. After another tiny accident, I believe the car was considered "totaled," and I moved on to greener pastures.

Or red, rather.

My uncle bought the car for a few bucks and drove it for a long time. He completely totaled it, stripped the insides out and used it like a truck and eventually traded it for some tile work.

He called her, Timex.

They don't make 'em like that anymore.