How Hot Is It?

I am not sure if you've heard, but it's hot. Like crank-up-the-AC-and-worry-bout-the-light-bill-later hot.

On our local news channel's Facebook page, they asked for some "It's so hot..." metaphors. I thought these were pretty funny. But don’t laugh too hard. You don’t want to get overheated (Please note: The following may have been edited for grammatical errors.)

"It's so hot
...you can start a fire by rubbing two Girl Scouts together."  
...the trees start looking for shade."
...the ice in the ice maker keeps turning to water."
...the devil says, 'Nice day huh?'"
...I saw a mosquito carrying a canteen!”
...worms are begging people to go fishing."|
...the thermometer reads TO BE CONTINUED"
...chickens lay hard boiled eggs."|
...the grass screams in pain when you water."
...the potatoes cook underground. All you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper."

 Here are some I found on Yuksrus.com:

It's so hot|
...the cows are giving evaporated milk.
...the trees are whistlin' for dogs.
...the birds have to pick up the worms with potholders.
...Scientists recently detected beads of sweat on the Statue of Liberty.
...Campbell Soup has changed the directions on its cans to: "Just pour and eat."

How hot is it at your house?

Photo credits: Google images

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Converstation with the Magic 8 Ball

You know how this works. Here is my insightful session:

Will Nicholas get a girlfriend this year?
-Very doubtful

Will Darrin get a girlfriend this year?
-Signs point to yes

Will Mommy lose 80 pounds?
-Cannot predict now

Will Daddy grow hair?
-My sources say no
(I think this right here proves the ball to be a very reliable source.)

Will Darrin be really tall?
-Ask again later.

Will Mommy ever get a book published?
-Cannot predict now.

Well, I think that was clearly a waste of time.

Repeat

The ringing phone jerks her out of a deep sleep. She grabs the handset and with one eye looks at the caller ID. Knowing it is yet another bill collector, she places the phone back on its cradle and curses under her breath.

Rolling on to her back, she closes her eyes and listens for sounds of life in the house. It is raining outside--must be the reason everyone is still asleep.

Already weeks behind on an ever increasing to-do list, she rises from the bed dreading the day ahead. The cat is most excited as this means that breakfast is finally on the horizon.

The dogs hear her decent down the stairs and begin their symphony of whines and begs in excitement. Usually this makes her feel better. She loves their early morning kisses and whimpers of gratitude once she has sprung them from their nightly confinement.

Today, she feels resentment. Again, the rain is going to cause a problem in the potty regimen.

As she fills the coffee pot with water, the pressure in her chest starts to build. Like an avalanche on the Rockies, a multitude of must-do tasks roll through her mind: get prices for baskets, call the vet, do the laundry, iron the stack of clothes, give the dogs a bath-oh wait it's raining!, paint the dresser, paint the credenza, crap! it's raining, balance the checkbook, pay some bills, get a school list ready, work on the tax-exempt form, make the bed, take a shower, figure out something good for supper, work on math facts with Darrin, organize the hall closet-AGAIN......

She feels like she wants to cry. There is no way to get all of this done. Why do I do this to myself? she thinks. Remembering the conversation with her husband the night before, just make a list and we'll go over it together, she wonders if he just said that or if he'd really help. And if he was really willing to help, why wasn't he helping all along? And what did he think his little "proposal" at bedtime was going to solve? THAT wasn't on the to-do list. Not hers, anyway.

Pouring the first cup of motivation, she turns on the computer which has become habit over the last eight weeks or so. Email, blogs, Facebook. It is a comfortable routine. One she doesn't wish to part with anytime soon. Unfortunately, in just over a week and a half, the routine will be replaced with packing lunches, breakfast, make-up and hair.

She browses in all her favorite places knowing that each click of the minute hand is another check on what ISN'T getting done. Starting to feel guilty, but not caring at the same time, she continues her game and morning ritual.

The phone rings again. This time it is her cell phone and that can only mean one thing: the president's name shows up on the caller ID. She doesn't make it in time and voice mail picks it up.

"I was just calling to see if you had the time and wanted to help set- up the breakfast tomorrow. I completely understand if you don't."

No one understood that when she took the treasurer position, all she wanted to do was write the checks and balance the books. Maybe she didn't say it out loud; her husband accuses her of having imaginary conversations all the time. She debates on whether she will help or just quit all together.

The phone continues to ring. Everyone is in search of the same thing--money. The one thing she doesn't have. Each call is yet another reminder of what isn't getting done. Of course, there is that whole blood-turnip thing. You can't give it if you don't have it. She definitely doesn't have it.

This day will just be like yesterday. Tomorrow will be yet another repeat. That is her life.

Blah blah blah blah

Spring Break is over.

Boo. Hiss.

I read three of my five books. I did start Revolutionary Road but it is deep and has to be read slowly. And I haven't picked it up in two or three days. I am only on page 60-something. It is due back on the 18th, and I had thought I would just re-new. But if I have learned anything from the past semesters, once we have a break, the instructors suddenly realize we only have 6 weeks or so and go into hyper drive.

I'll probably have 13 tests, 7 quizzes, and 14 papers due in the next two weeks.


Obviously the break didn't go as planned, but it may have been for the best. Also, I have to go up in my dosage of medicine today. The lower dose makes me feel funny for an hour or two after I take it. I think perhaps I will take it at night as opposed to the morning. Anyone have any suggestions on this?

It is supposed to be cloudy for the rest of the week. It was cloudy all last week but raining. I am so ready for the spring.

It is 7:41 and I haven't even started getting ready for school.

Nicholas got mad at me this morning because he had to get his ironed clothes from downstairs. I didn't say anything to him like I normally would have. Quick! Call child services! I am not sure where I am going wrong with that kid, but his attitude STINKS. Careful observation of the fourth grade shows that this seems to be "normal" behavior. We need to nip this in the bud. I can't have it knowing that I still have one more child to go through fourth grade.

I guess that is all. I just needed to get my thoughts out, I guess. I better hurry and get ready so I can hear all about how Buffy went to the beach, Tiff slept until noon every day, or whatever else these twenty-somethings with no responsibilities just HAD to do last week.

Do have a wonderful Monday.

Another day, another list.

***Updated**** I got the links to work. Spell check still isn't working; I'm not sure why.


Because I strive to be consistent, here is yet another list. Of course, I counted on stuff from Big Daddy. The really only funny thing I can't tell-yet. *wink*

This one hails from Miss Hollie. She is hip and cool and all things I wish I was at her age. Actually, I wouldn't mind it at THIS age.

She totally cracks me up. Check out her list. Seriously. Then set your links to keep reading her. She doesn't disappoint.

As for me...

1- What are your initi​als?
HLC

2- What is your favor​ite thing​ to wear?
Pajama pants and a tee

3- Last thing​ you ate?
Roast, mashed potatoes, lima beans, corn, bread and pie for dessert. (don't judge)

5- I say shotg​un,​ you say:
get in!

6-​Who was the last perso​n you talke​d to?
Big Daddy

7-​What were you doing​ at 7:​00am?
Dreaming

8- Last perso​n you high fived​?
Darrin

9- Does anyon​e you know want to date you?
Nope.

10-​When was your last encou​nter with the polic​e?
Over a week ago at school with the SRO. )car rider duty)


11-​Have you ever drive​n witho​ut a licen​se?
Oh my goodness! On Friday. I had came home when I realized it, and LEFT AGAIN. It's back in my wallet now....

12- The last place​ you went out to dinne​r?
Last night. New Captain D's opened here. (ick)

13-​Do you like your name?
Yes.

14- What time of the day is it?
7:31pm

15- Who/​What made you angry​ today​?
The boys. Let's just say that one of them has a black eye caused by the other.

16- Baseb​all or Footb​all?
Football

18-​Do you like birds​?
Only hummingbirds

19- Favor​ite holid​ay:
Halloween

20- Do you downl​oad music​?
on occasion

21- Do you care if your socks​ are dirty​?
YES. I am a sock snob.

22- Opini​on of Chine​se symbo​l tatto​os?
I think they are cool if they are done right.

24-​Do you like to cuddl​e?
Oh yes...

25- Do you love anyon​e?
No. Nuh-uh. Not a soul.

26-​Whose​ bed did you sleep​ in last night​?
Ours.

27- Have you ever bunge​e jumpe​d?
NEVER. CAN'T. WON'T.

28- Have you ever gone white​ water​ rafti​ng?
No.

29- Has anyon​e 10 years​ older​ than you ever hit on you?
Um. Yeah. ::cough::

30- How many pets do you have?
1

31- Have you met a real redne​ck?
I live in Tennessee....

32- How is the weath​er right​ now?
PERFECT. I *heart* fall.

33- What are you liste​ning to right​ now?
Big Daddy is watching some crap movie, oh wait--commercial, now he flicked to History Channel.

34- What is your curre​nt favor​ite song?
"So What" P!nk

35- What was the last movie​ you watch​ed?
"Soul Plane"

36- Do you wear conta​cts?
No

37- Where​ was the last place​ you went besid​es your house​?
Target

39- What’​s one thing​ you learn​ed this year?
That I am totally doing the right thing.

40- What do you usual​ly order​ from Starb​ucks?
I am a Starbucks virgin.

41-​Ever had someo​ne sing to you?
Yes

42- Have you ever fired​ a gun:
No. I really hate guns.

43- Are you missi​ng someo​ne?
Not at the moment

44- Favor​ite Tv Show?
Grey's, Desperate Housewives, Jon and Kate, Roseanne, Will and Grace.

45- What do you have an obses​sion with?
::cough internet cough::

46- Has anyon​e ever said you looke​d like a celeb​?
Yes. When I first moved here, people thought I looked like Alison Krauss. I saw her on Sunday Morning this morning. I wish. It would be closer to this.
47- Who?
Alison Krauss

48- Who would​ you like to see right​ now?
the sandman

49-​Ever had a near death​ exper​ience​?
Not that I am aware of...

51- Have you ever been caugh​t doing​ somet​hing you weren​'​t suppo​sed to be doing​?
No. Never. Of course not. Hey, what's that over there??

52- Favor​ite smell​?
My husband.

53- Butte​r,​ plain​,​ or salte​d popco​rn?
No thank-you.

54- Ever put a frien​d in a cop car on JukeP​ix?
Um. No.

55- Ever been in a cop car in real life?
Probably. My grandparents own a towing service. And my grandmother was a dispatcher. I knew all the police in their town.

56- Has anyon​e you were close​ to passe​d away recen​tly?
No

57- Our Lady Peace​ or Nicke​lback​?
Nickelback

58- What'​s somet​hing that reall​y bugs you?
My husband's feet moving in my peripheral.

59- Do you like Micha​el Jacks​on?
No. Michael Jackson doesn't even like Michael Jackson.

60- Taco Bell or Burge​r King?
Burger King.

61-​Favor​ite Food?
chocolate, ice cream, candy corn..

62- Favor​ite baseb​all team?
Yuck.

63- Ever call a 1-​900 phone​ numbe​r?
Yes. I totally got in trouble too.

64- Nippl​e or Nose ring?
Neither.

65- What’​s the longe​st you’v​e gone witho​ut sleep​?
Let's see, the oldest is 15...

66- Last time you went bowli​ng?
Last winter, I think.

67- Where​ is the weird​est place​ you’​ve slept​?
In a tent...LOL

68- Who was your last phone​ call?
Mother

70- What’​s the close​st orang​e objec​t to you?
Some leaves in the picture behind me.

Spell check is broken. If anything is misspelled, well, I can't help it.

Hmm. Can't put in anymore links either. Sorry, Hollie

For lack of better words

I am in a writing slump.

Unless it is about colonial times, AP style writing, or Piaget v/s Vygotsky, I have nothing else on my mind.

SO I am leaving it to you...

What do you what to know? I'll write about it...

And if you happen to be a lurker, come on out! I *heart* comments and suggestions.